I don’t know if you  ever felt disappointed on something or someone? I have quite a few times in life. Mostly my disappointments have the root in my wrongly tuned expectations either on people or sometimes even on God (not been disappointed on Him though)

It’s hard when people let you down, at least for me. on one side I am not perfect myself so Its kind of awkward to put to high expectations on others. But actually I have no real problem with peoples failures, falls and shortcomings so much. But when people say one thing and then does another deliberately its really hard on me. When I feel someone declares one thing and then shows to be preparing for the opposite I have a hard time with disappointment.

I’ve noticed in my emotions the older I get the more suspicious I get. I don’t like to be suspicious, its a sign of getting old and cynical, I don’t want that, well I will get old but I don’t want to get cynical. Suspicion I guess is an effect of to many disappointments in life, it is a mechanism of protection, an emotional defense mechanism.

As I read this morning in 2 Cor 7 Paul writes about sorrow, how to have sorrow after Gods heart and in Gods way. I think my own sorrow too many times been more destructive, a worldly sorrow as Paul describes it. But by nature I am a thinker, thoughts flows my mind often trying to figure out the purpose and reason of life, sometimes with the bible in hand and sometimes without.

Today I woke up with this heavy feeling of sorrow and as I opened my daily bible reading it was 2 Cor 7 speaking about sorrow in two ways. So I was pondering my sorrow. Sorrow comes from some kind of loss, something you treasured has been lost. different kinds of loss of course. If a thing it can be irretrievably , if a dear one leaves this life its also permanent, if a broken relationship the person might still be around but your relationship have changed. Like in a divorce for example! Especially if it is a one-way divorce, one wants to split but the other not. That hurts even more, you feel abounded, disqualified, rejected and that hurts really deep.

But Jesus experienced all these things and still He loved those who did it toward Him. its hard for my emotions to grasp that, to embrace that side of redemption but still its a fact. Jesus managed to give His whole life to God there on the cross, bleeding, rejected, betrayed and abounded.  I have to do the same, but its not easy.

‘Lord help me to forgive, forget and continue to live life even after deep disappointments’