A real friend….

I am blessed with several really good friends for whom I am very grateful. A friends is someone you can talk to, on a  bad day and a good day. I have a friend like that and I am really happy for him being in my life. He is not a childhood friend but we´ve met on the way of life and share some common experiences in life.

We have a dialogue about things. There is not anything we can´t talk about. During this last year he has been the one I´ve poured my hearts grief upon and he has patiently listend, been supportive without given tonnes of advice but been there praying, maybe crying but most of all, he is there. We have lunch togheter on a regularly basis when we fight about who will pay for the other, we laugh and share the good things in life, the minute later we pour our disappoinments about lives unjustices.

For me he has become very precious, someone I can listen to, understand without given councel to. We share certain things in life with each other. He is my friend and I think I am his. I am even a little nervous to write this on my blog because I don´t want to make public what we have together becuase its not for you to hear or to be  apart of.

So why do i write about it? Because I have been in a place as a pastor and minister not having a dialogue partner (except my wife of course) someone just listening, loving and supporting. My friend has been a mayor instrument in the healing of my heart without counseling me, but just by listening and when I´ve poured out not so mice things he is still there. How I wish I had a friend like him some years back.

For pastors and ministers dialogue is crucial but very difficult. If in the same organisation or church what we say may impact how superiors treats us, if to open there might appear a reputation about us that causes aversion towards us. We need friendship, true friendship where our holy conversations stays and are not brought to other ears. My 30 years of experience is unfortunetely not so good in this area. Gossiping between ministers sometimes in the name of necessity hurts to many people. Unfortunetely I cannot say I am without guilt in this.
We have to restore friendship and integrity again, a total confidentiality that brings security and safety back to our relationships.

Ask God for a friend who will be closer to you than a brother.

Friend, thank you for being my friend! I appriciate it more than you can imagine.

Matsjan

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