Freedom and creative space…

A few days ago when I was driving from Kharkov to Donetsk to teach missions at the bibleschool I was driving alone, the drive taking about 4 hours. When leaving Kharkov behind me I let my thoughts to bounce around in my head, laying all musts aside letting my mind drift freely. After about 30-40 minutes I started to relax, leaning back enjoying the freedom of thought. The freedom to let my thoughts think in new patterns, playing with different solutions, abstractly in my mind playing different scenarios, different ways forward for my life, the church and so on. It didn’t take long until I sensed an inner peace and joy overflowing me. I have an expression I use for this process, ‘to think with God’. Meditation and creativity goes hand in hand. If we do not give ourselves the creative space to allow this inner process flow, for me personally it’s emotionally devastating. I stop living, turning into a unpassionate cold, indifferent person that I don’t want to be.
I need freedom and creative space!!
It has taken me many years of soul searching and studying of myself to actually accept that this is the person God made me. To function properly I need creative space. It can be hard to explain this to people around, I guess they just have to learn to cope with it, my wife has and does in a very understanding way.
A few years ago I came to the verge of a burnout, the Lord saved me through high blood pressure, forcing me to calm down. For a long timeI couldn’t understand why this happened to me. It took quite a long time to understand, I had neglected my creative space for too long time, forcing myself forward even though my inner man got emptier and emptier, no matter how much I prayed and sought God.
I’ve now come to understand myself in y better way, I love to get this touch and inner guidance of the Holy Spirit and then find ways for it to manifest.
Here in the Ukraine I sense this, I believe, god given gift is flourishing again and when I see the result, people are blessed, meeting Jesus, getting new hope and fresh faith, I am filled with thanksgiving to the Lord.
‘Be anxious for nothing making your prayers and petitions known to God and the peace of God….’

Matsjan

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